madameblogalot

Last week my son’s district track meet was in the town where I was born and lived for the first nine years of my life. I went down to watch since my grandparents said they’d like to come out and watch him run. I pointed out to my daughter where we would go pick up pecans and where the Little League fields were. I took my her by the houses where my grandpa and his second wife had lived, next door to each other. Then we went down to the high school. As I was looking for a place to park, I was hit with a memory. I told my daughter that I was sure I had been to an Easter egg hunt in the field between the high school and the track, but it looked a little different, but yes, I was sure I had. (My mom later confirmed that yes I had done that, but it was before there was a track there.) After watching the two mile race, my son would not run again until late afternoon. So we sat in the stands and visited a little longer, then went to the Dairy Bar to get a hamburger. I wasn’t sure it would still be good. When I drove into the parking lot, it was empty and looked a little “old”. But then I started noticing folks going through the drive through and the older people going in for burgers. I knew it must still be good. And the longer we sat there, the more crowded it got. And yes, it was still a good burger! Afterward, I made a quick stop by my grandmother’s grave then headed home. It was a pleasant morning and glad we got to make the trip.

Seeing how much stress my son has been going through this school year has really given me more empathy for how hard it is to be a kid these days. Kids from every walk of life are facing some really tough things. It doesn’t matter if they attend public schools, private academic schools, or even homeschool, there is a lot to face growing up in today’s world.

There are many places to help kids get through these tough issues. I know for my son, it’s been hard for him to find somebody to talk to. When he has faced certain things he has tried to talk to a neighbor or a youth minister who used to live in the area. (It’s hard when your own youth minister is your dad.) But many kids may have a hard time finding a trusted adult to whom they can turn. And it seems more and more kids are screaming for help by acting out in wild behavior.

There are many programs being designed to help out these struggling teens. One I came across, EvangelHouse, works solely with troubled teen girls. It is a boarding school with a Christian based focus. They are reaching out to girls with mild drug and alcohol problems, social problems, difficulty in school, depression, anxiety, and a host of other behavior, family and legal issues. The school offers an alternative for parents who are looking for help for their daughters in a Christian based atmosphere. The website offers information, a printable brochure and admissions application.

I was pleased yesterday evening to find that some friends of ours stopped by while out taking a walk as a family. They have two precious boys. The five year old even rode his bike all the way to my house, nearly a mile! We got the chance to visit for a few minutes (never long enough) and of course we always talk about our kids.

I had a couple of things in the oven and my kids took them out while I chatted. My friend mentioned how nice it is when the kids are big. I said yes, but it was nice when they were five too. I told her not to “wish it away” like I kind of did. I remember at times wondering if such and such a stage would ever be over. And it is. All too soon.

There are some real advantages to having big kids. It is nice in some ways. But I still spend days agonizing over them, crying myself to sleep, and wondering if this stage will ever be over. And I know all too soon it will.

I guess that could be one regret I have. Wishing for something other than what I have at the moment. Maybe that is just a lesson we learn after having lived through it. I thought the preschool years were never ending, then the early elementary years. But I have to say after that, my son’s junior high years flew by. And now he is half way done with high school. I am trying to be very careful not to waste time and energy wishing away these days. There are not many more left with him at home.

I do wish for some of the “good old days” when they were little. We had lots of fun then. We still have fun but it is very different now. And maybe one day I’ll be having fun with their kids. Then I’ll get to spoil them and send them home!

It’s been six months since Hurricane Ike left his mark on our area. Actually nearly seven. Our neighbors are nearly done with the work on their house. I also had a lady tell me that their roof was just repaired two weeks ago. And I still see blue tarps on roofs as I drive around.

Wow! I know folks are ready to get their homes repaired and back in order. I know that remodeling can be stressful. I am sure folks would love to get a free pass to save money on home remodeling by buying direct from the manufacturer. When an unplanned major overhaul is caused it can be important to save on every item possible.

Check out what Direct Buy Sunnyvale (and other Texas locations) has to offer with a free visitor’s pass!

As a mom, it has been tough to watch the struggles and lessons my kids have to go through to grow into strong adults. I don’t know what lies ahead for either of my kids, but I have become increasingly aware of just how hard it is to be a kid these days. The more I learn about my son’s school, the more I want to take him out of there. But I am not 100% convinced it is the right thing to do. I just read something that reminded parents not to make decisions out of fear, not to take an action just to keep our kids away from something painful (though I sure feel like I want to do just that!) Without revealing too much of the heartache that my son has been dealing with this school year, here is a snapshot of just what kind of things our kids are dealing with on a regular basis.

Earlier this year, I shared on this blog about a boy in one of my son’s classes who committed suicide. Just this week, my son also shared about another young man he goes to school with who is struggling with his conflict about his sexual identity and past molestation. Another friend has not been to school in about a week. He is facing the results of being here illegally and the likelihood of being deported. Last week, I taught a group of third graders at church. These eight and nine year olds are worried about things like the upcoming state mandated tests and why Chris Brown would choke and beat up his girlfriend Rhianna.

These are just a few of the stressful issues kids and teens are facing today. These are the average, middle class suburban kids. I can only imagine the pain and struggles the inner city, abused and outcast kids are facing. Is it any wonder they can barely concentrate on their algebra?! My heart has been in a constant state of ache for my son for nearly this whole school year. And now it is in agony for the things his friends are dealing with as well.

My heart aches for the kind of world they are growing up in. And while I know that there is really “nothing new under the sun” I still feel anxious for these kids…

I got to do more reading in March than I had in a few months. During our vacation time I was able to do some reading on the plane. It seemed to me that most of my reading this month ended up with the material being both a hit and a miss!

Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs-a low culture manifesto by Chuck Klosterman. I read this book on the recommendation of my sister. Some of Klosterman’s observations were interesting and insightful. A few were humorous. But for the most part, I had to make myself read this one. I almost could not get past about the second page with the language that he uses to express himself. But there are some interesting things to think about. I even think that though we come from opposite ends of the spectrum, we may have reached some of the same conclusions! This book was both a Hit and a Miss with me.

A friend of mine had sent me some articles that he thought I would enjoy reading. They are from the First Things website. Both are written by David Hart. The first, “Freedom and Decency”, was easier to read than the second, “Christ and Nothing”. They were both fairly long, the second pretty lengthy. They both also had some interesting things to say about where we are at in our culture, though from an entirely different perspective than Klosterman. They are a little difficult to read, but are worthwhile to those who are interested in those things. Again, these articles were both a Hit and a Miss for me.

While on the plane I also read the book She Said Yes by Misty Bernall. Her daughter Cassie was killed during the rampage at Columbine High School. I bought this book for my kids. My daughter read it and told me that I had to read it (which I had already intended to do.) This book was a Hit with me.

Then last night I finished the book Help! I Don’t Like My Child! by Barbara Woodall. This book is not what I was expecting. I thought it was a book about raising teens and how to get past the feelings we sometimes have towards them and how to overcome these feelings and how to better get through conflicts. This is not at all what this book is about. This book is about a mother and daughter in an abusive situation and the feelings living like this brought into their relationship. The mother turned to God to help overcome these things. However, I did not really enjoy her writing style and also found it to be less professional than Misty Bernall’s. In this book, Woodall shares how her teenage daughter also died. I did not realize this was the story I was reading. I am not sure if my expectations or the general writing style made this book a Miss for me.

In exactly one month, my daughter will turn 13 years old. She is almost celebrating today! She can hardly wait to hit the milestone! I on the other hand, am not too fond of the idea of having two full fledged teens living in my house! Of course, as a mommy, I can still remember when….

After my first pregnancy, I wasn’t so sure I wanted to go through that again. There are so many questions, so many doubts, so much confusion. And back then, I did not have the internet to run to when I wanted to find the answer to every nagging little thought that raced through my mind (but might not want to ask about aloud!)

After my son turned two, we began discussing the possibility of having another child. I did not want to be pregnant again (I had a rough time with the first pregnancy.) My dad offered one little piece of advice to us. With my husband and I both being “first born children” and our son obviously being a “first born” (only at the time), Dad said “You three will kill each other! You need another one for some balance!” He said it somewhat in jest, but I have to admit there was some insight to that. So I gave my husband a four month window. After that, I did not want to try to become pregnant again.

I guess God has plans for this little girl (young lady) as I got pregnant right away (we followed the advice from my Anatomy and Physiology college textbook!) She does indeed bring some balance to the family.

I know that if I were getting pregnant in this current time, I would be using websites to answer my questions, fears and doubts. I would be researching every little detail to keep up to date on my baby’s development. Then I would not have to search through textbooks or wait for monthly publications to see what they had to say about certain issues. I could just click away to find what I was needing at any particular time. And now as my daughter hits her teen years, I am turning to the internet to find out what other parents are doing with those precious little grown up toddlers!